Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize