He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize