Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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