i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize