There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize