Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize