yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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