i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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