Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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