Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize