Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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