Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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