I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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