Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize