do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
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You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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