I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize