My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
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my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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