Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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