omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm both gender and math confused
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize