I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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