And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize