It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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