i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize