respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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