All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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