i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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