i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Enjoy the penises
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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