hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You ruined the universe
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