i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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