i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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