it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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