You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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