Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize