nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize