At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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