Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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