If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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