The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize