Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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