Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize