Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
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Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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