i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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