Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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