In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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