Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize