you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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