I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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