And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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