make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize