I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
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And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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