He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize