I think i peed on brittanys purse
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize